Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
