Your mouth is God's brothel.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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