So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
