I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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