he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
