I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
