Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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