Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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