Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
