fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
