I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
