I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
