So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
