did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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