yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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