whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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