yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
