I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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