so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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