Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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