god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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