So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
