HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
