4 words: hood of his car
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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