Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
