The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
