I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
