They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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