careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
