I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
