He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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