I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
