i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
