one two three fourrrrnication!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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