Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
