I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we're making bets on your personal life
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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