East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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