I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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