That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
