i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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