addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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