why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
