my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
