I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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