Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
