am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
