Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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