She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
