I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
