Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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