I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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