I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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