she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize